Oh the Taper . . . . . . bleh!

Well, I've been training best I can...NOT exactly by the plan, but best I can. :o) My body IS ready, but am I???? This running thing has torn me apart! Not just all of my muscle fibers in these legs, LOL, but my mind too! I've always been FULL of self doubt and this marathon is a beast I'm trying to conquer. I want to overcome my self doubt. Everyone else out there seems to think I'm so "strong", why can't I believe it??

I have to believe, truly believe that I'm ready for this thing. I am tired of doubting my ability. I will not be defeated by Austin Marathon, I just won't...I just can't! I've been spewing out a ton of "This WILL be my one and only marathon I do!" and "This running crap sucks!" but to be truthful, I DO love to run. I'm overwhelmed by the training, I HATE to feel so restricted, and suffered a big loss when my running buddy decided long distance and endurance running wasn't for her (even though I AM happy she made the best decision for herself OF COURSE!). I have been doing so much anti running talk lately I'm driving MYSELF crazy!!!! haha!

So what does this all mean for me?

Will I continue running?

Will I continue on the marathon path after Austin?

Oh God I don't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's easier for me to just say it's too much and I don't want to do it anymore. This is what I'm telling most of my friends and family. BUT, I do love the big miles. I do love the feeling after a long run. I do love the sense of accomplishment I feel after completing a 13+mile run.

Is this all just a bunch of anxiety? Is this normal to feel like this just after I'm finally in the BIG numbers distance wise? Seems to be so. In fact, as I Google it, I keep finding the terms "Taper Tantrums" or "Taper Madness".

It's real and it sucks.

ESPECIALLY for someone like me who is already nervous that I haven't been able to follow the plan exactly like everyone else has. I'm full of anxiety. I'm scared. I feel random aches and pains. My knee hurts. My RIBS feel broken from all the coughing the past two months and the bronchitis.

Yep, classic signs of the tantrum that most runners feel in the weeks leading up to the marathon. I have to review my blog and remember that I DID do a 20 miler, I DID do a 16 . . .etc. I AM ready.

Now I guess I just have to try to keep my sanity, stop thinking my bones are broken, muscles are torn, damaged, lungs are in bad shape, etc....STOP PANICKING GINA!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

I found this poem and got a little giggle from it!

Now for a little entertainment!







I run.
I like it.
I'm GOOD at it.
This is all I can say for now. :o)